There are times in life when you just know you’re not where you’re meant to be. For me, that’s how Missouri feels now. It wasn’t always this way—there were good reasons we came back, and in the past, it felt different. This is actually my third time living here, and I think it may be my last. I love visiting—some of my family is here, though others are scattered elsewhere—and Springfield itself has its charms. But living here these days feels different. The community I long for, the one that fits my lifestyle and values, simply isn’t here.

On paper, everything should feel fine. I accepted a permanent full-time job when I was only supposed to stay a few weeks. The people I work with are kind, and the job itself isn’t bad. But there’s a difference between being fine and truly belonging. For someone who has spent years in education, who thrives on being part of a larger purpose, it’s difficult to feel like an afterthought. I do have tasks, but much of it is up to me to keep myself busy. These responsibilities were set early on, and three months later, I still said yes. There are reasons to stay—this role would look excellent on a résumé if I invested more time here. Still, I know this isn’t my forever work home. For now, I’m staying open and letting clarity unfold.

It’s not anyone’s fault. This isn’t about the people around me—it’s about me. I’m more of a “city person” in a place that leans country. I blend in on the surface, but not in spirit. My heart still dreams of a community where I don’t just fit in, but belong.

And yet, even in this in-between space, there are gifts. The slower pace gives me time to focus on health, to hydrate more intentionally, to be mindful with my time and money. It’s taught me how to save, reflect, and keep moving toward the life I want.

So while I may not belong here, I’ve learned that being out of place doesn’t mean being without purpose. It just means the next chapter is waiting. Maybe you’ve felt that too—that quiet ache of not quite fitting in. If so, know you’re not alone. Sometimes being out of place is just life’s way of nudging us toward where we’re meant to be.